What Excuses Really Say About You

 
 

Have you ever stopped to think about why we make the excuses that we do?   These excuses get in the way of what of we really want to do. 

Money is a big one. Maybe the granddaddy of all excuses? There are so many emotions and behaviors tied to money that identifying why we’re making excuses becomes even more difficult.  

We’ve all been to the theme parks before where an ice cream cone is priced at five times what we pay in the supermarket.   We all understand that we can buy a carton of ice cream for what it costs to buy it at the theme park.  Ultimately, we make the purchase because our experience at the theme park just wouldn’t be the same without it.  Essentially, it comes down to what we value.  Sometimes, a memorable experience matters more than money.  

We tell ourselves that we can’t afford a spa day, the massage, the concert tickets, or whatever other luxury that we’re denying ourselves.   We say, “I don’t want to come across as shallow, or self-centered.” 

We struggle with our weight but follow diets we know won’t work, or continue to eat without control because at the end of the day we don’t really want to be held accountable.  

So, what have we learned today? Being cheap can be destructive and it’s okay to make yourself a priority.   Because you’re worth it. 

 
 
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Self-Love, Self-Care, Selfishness, and The Wisdom to Know the Difference

 
 

Self-care is the new buzzword.  If we just buy enough miracle skin creams, go the gym, be fit, do yoga, get manis, pedis, massages, and visit the salon on the regular, we will be happy, well-adjusted, and productive adults right?

Wrong.  Listen, I don’t have to tell you that adulting is hard. Sometimes making time to do all of the above can just leave us more exhausted than when we started. 

Self-care is NOT self-love and as your resident female empowerer, I have some ideas on how to love yourself a little more:

Practice Gratitude: Appreciate your legs, cellulite and all. They carry you through each and every day.   Appreciate your arms for the same reason.  Accept that although your smile may bring out your crows feet, it also lifts your cheeks and makes you look younger. 

Forgive Yourself: Negative self-talk is almost second nature for most of us.  Notice your reactions to stress and take accountability.  In other words, if you’re feeling bitchy, what’s the root cause? Then take action to remedy the bitchiness. 

Wear It!  Wearing clothes (lingerie included!) that makes us feel good gives us confidence.  It’s self-expression.  We can express moods and persona with our outfits. 

Wear all the hats!  We have many roles:  boss, co-worker, mom, friend, wife, girlfriend etc.  These roles don’t operate independently of each other.  Being a mom, for example, doesn’t mean you stop being a sensual being.  So don’t accept the little box that society wants to put you into.  We can drive ourselves crazy with societal norms and expectations. 

Shameless Plug:  Of course, a boudoir session can help you appreciate yourself.  I’d love to help you change the way you see yourself.  

 
 
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Slippery When Wet

I came up with a temporary shower set as the bathroom in my studio is much too small to shoot in and the results were nothing short of spectacular. 

This was a limited edition set due to the small space afforded by studio; I cannot leave it up all the time.  BUT...that doesn't mean I won't be bringing it back.  If you want in on these sessions, get on my mailing list now! 

 
 
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A Little 911 for Your Lingerie Dilemma: What to Wear After Extreme Weight Loss

I’ve had clients come in for a session after massive weight loss and I’m often asked what kind of lingerie is best for hiding excess skin or scars from surgery for skin removal. 

Black Mesh Overbust Corset 

You’ve heard me say this one before and I keep recommending it because it’s a universally flattering piece; it’s the workhorse of the lingerie closet:  the corset.

Look for a steel-boned corset; it will hold its shape better than a corset with plastic boning. 

Bodystockings:  I love them because they show off your shape, are revealing, but still cover a multitude of perceived flaws such as cellulite, scars, varicose veins, etc.

Gowns or Lace Dresses: Sheer lace works the same way a bodystocking does but you can wear it over a pretty bra and underwear set or completely nude.   Alternatively, you can also wear a satin gown for a more conservative look.

Hi-Waisted Briefs: They look great under a lace gown or paired with a bra, elbow length gloves and some over-the-knee boots. 

Robes:  They can be worn over other pieces, and used to drape and hide certain areas. 

As women, we get so nervous about exposing ourselves in a boudoir session, but it's really more about showing who you are.  Your choice of wardrobe (if any) not only reflects your personality, but can help you feel better in your skin.  Don't let a little extra skin get in the way of expressing your sensual side.